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Backing Up to go Forward

Thanks to my friend Ivy in the Religion Forum for giving me the ocassion to post this explanation of our town.

>>Hmmm........what is that? <<

Drive due East from Fresno in 180 and when the road ends keep going on I180 (That's I for imagination). Turn right at the summit where the sign says, "Doubleback." You are now in Doubleback County. Begin your descent and hold your nose. You'll pass the turnoff to Skunkville. Keep going. The musk factory will be on your left (Polecat Hollow Skunk Works). Never mind the line of Polecats awaiting daily extraction. It is painless and really quite pleasurable for them.

You'll notice an odor an it will get stronger and stronger as you get closer to town. Stop by Billie's House of Moutain Oysters just outside town and tell her the Mayor, Byron T. Simpleton sent you. That's me. She's my sister, you know. A lot of people don't know that, but she is.

I love her ... I guess ... Mom did .......

..... best.

But that is another subject. Billie Bluebud. She married Billie Bud Bluebud and they merged the diner with the visitor center back in 77. Billie Bud has an elixer that numbs the olfactories (sort of mimics the condition of the founders whose sense of smell was all shot to heck by the prairie dust storms back in 1879.) He offers that to visitors for 15 or 20 bucks - really cheap when you consider that you are now in the breeding ground for North American polecatery. You are situated in Skunk Central.

And we like it because that is the first thing we smelled when we came out of the womb. It's mother's milk and love and joy and fresh air to us.

As you can imagine, we are somewhat isolated. Not many folks come and stay; few leave (PCH flks just can't stand the odor outside our valley.)

Keep driving till you come to the Courthous. There will be a statue of Colonel Thadeous T. Hinklebeiner pointing Westward toward the promsed land - our town.

His group came out in 1879 after hearing rumors that there was a town in the High Sierra already built and ready for occupancy. It seems that the unnamed original settlers were strong and brave, but they came out before the Gold Rush in the winter and braved the elements to build a town - an extraordinary feat. But they were not sgtrong enough to withstand what the Sping thaw brought. It took them about two weeks to pack and head back to the East.

Not everyone is cut out for Polecat Hollow.

Uncle Hinkey is. In fact, he is the son of the Colonel and his third wife, born in the Colonel's post-golden years. You'll find him sipping coffe at Mabel's Tea Cup and if he's luncky this day, he'll be sharing a cookie with Miss Prudence Love a find woman in her nineties who taught most of us in Sunday School. People ask my uncle how he feels about dating a younger woman. He replies, "If she'd ever say, 'yes" I'd feel great aboput it."

Miss Prudence is accomplished in the art of playing hard-to-get.

Take a break and sit in the park under the Colonel's statue after school and you might see the daily ceremony of a contingent of the Loyal Order of the Goobers as they honor the flag. If it is on a Saturday, they will be joined by the Junior Goobies - Buster and Sally and their friends, Spike and Mahilda, Elmo, and Igmund G. Goodfellow III (Iggy).

Don't loiter there or you may have to answer some questions from Chief John R. D. Law. It will be OK though. We really do like visitors; we're just suspicious of them, so few and far between - especially when they have Yankee accents like you - no offense.

Yep, yep, yep .... that's my town. Thanks to you for asking and to Tom for letting me answer.

There are quite a few stories from my town and Tom will eventually either publish them or post them at www.polecathollow.net.

In fact, you just prompted him to write another entry.

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